Richard Hell

You're Cool But You're Iced Out, You Know Exactly What I'm Talking About

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 06:33:47 GMT

Sorry, nothing juicy or interesting to write.

Today I spent 3 hours working in the library and was constantly confronted by the tee-shirts from "Take Back the Night." I feel some support for the whole event, I feel terrible for rape victims, despite my whole "insufferable asshole" or "arrogant bastard" thing I do show some noble feelings. However I wish that people would give the whole thing a spelling and grammar check, I found myself constantly correcting easy fix spelling and grammar mistakes and then realizing I was criticizing rape victims and then realizing what I was doing and then feeling awful. Seriously, St Marys, get on it.

Magic is in the air...

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 03:03:52 GMT

So, I've taken to playing Magic: the Gathering again in order to alleviate my profound alienation with my SMP, and thus would like to post my current decklist in order to get some feedback. I should probably mention that this is a timmy deck (i.e. it is more or less built because it is fun to play and has some win chance), rather than what I would run for tournaments (I think I'd try to run a mass discard deck or control if I were seeking a serious win). Anyway, here it goes:

Lands:
8 x Island
8 x Forest
4 x Simic Growth Chamber (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/DI/Simic_Growth_Chamber.html)

Creatures:
4 x Coiling Oracle (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/DI/Coiling_Oracle.html)
3 x Jhessian Infiltrator (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/SA/Jhessian_Infiltrator.html)
3 x Selkie Hedge Mage (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/EN/Selkie_Hedge_Mage.html)
3 x Sage Owl (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/10E/Sage_Owl.html)
2 x Rhys the Redeemed (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/SM/Rhys_the_Redeemed.html)
2 x Simic Sky Swallower (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/DI/Simic_Sky_Swallower.html)
4 x Mystic Snake (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/TSS/Mystic_Snake.html)
3 x Wistful Selkie (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/EN/Wistful_Selkie.html)
3 x Sage of Epityr (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/TSN/Sage_of_Epityr.html)

Spells:
3 x Fable of Wolf and Owl (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/EN/Fable_of_Wolf_and_Owl.html)
3 x Ponder (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/LW/Ponder.html)
3 x Spitting Image (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/EN/Spitting_Image.html)
2 x Wheel of Sun and Moon (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/SM/Wheel_of_Sun_and_Moon.html)
3 x Snakeform (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/EN/Snakeform.html)

Sideboard:
1 x Fable of Wolf and Owl (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/EN/Fable_of_Wolf_and_Owl.html)
1 x Ponder (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/LW/Ponder.html)
1 x Wheel of Sun and Moon (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/SM/Wheel_of_Sun_and_Moon.html)
3 x Vedalken Plotter (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/GP/Vedalken_Plotter.html)
4 x Negate (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/MT/Negate.html)
3 x Krosan Grip (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/TSN/Krosan_Grip.html)
2 x Fracturing Gust (http://findmagiccards.com/Cards/SM/Fracturing_Gust.html)

Thoughts? Suggestions? I'm happy with the price range of the deck (cheap) and I like the ability to fix my draw so that I can use coiling oracle to drop a simic growth chamber into play without having to bounce a card to my hand, and with my huge # of tokens I can generate, I even really like discarding my spitting image early before dropping wheel of sun and moon so I can retrace with impunity. However, I'm not sure about my sideboard, its more of a current fix since I have only playtested against Noel, who tends to run artifact and enchant heavy decks. I definitely like the plotters (they net me a 1/1 owl token and someones pain land for an off color land or even a dark depths later in the game when I need less land).

In other news, back to finishing my SMP.

P.S. if you are unclear on how the deck works:
Step 1: play a few spells for card fixing (ponder, sages, maybe the infiltrator for some early damage).
Step 2: drop cycle of sun and moon and fable of wolf and owl at some point
Step 3: empty hand of dual creatures, netting tokens like woah, use the Snake to hard counter their crucial spells or to flash in some extra defense/offense for a turn after a big hit, also duplicate their legendary cards (8 mana is the max you need to cast anything, although having around 10 is ideal, so the retrace isn't a big issue for you) to destroy them or duplicate crucial cards for serious advantage with step 4.
Step 4: if you haven't smashed the opposing players face in with tokens, use Rhys to duplicate them and get MOAR tokens
Step 5: Win

Spy's Sapping My Sentry

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 17:41:49 GMT

Based on the historical phenomenon of Cargo Cults (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cult), I have started my very own religion! (Note, if you don't understand Team Fortress 2 this really won't make much sense) Thanks to the all powerful train and its mighty ability to smite non-believers in CP and Arena Well, I have forsaken all lesser gods and now conduct myself rightfully in the service of the train god, all nonbelievers shall be smote with my bat or with the train god itself, steam willing.

This originally was going to be something funny or more long winded, but I totally lost interest.

I have like 3 Netflix dvds I claim to have returned, but haven't... I really should get on that... also Grad School application, but the delicious Scout Update comes out on Wednesday and I will totally be forsaking all social contact to get myself some srs business Scout gear.

BONK!
RH

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 03:48:20 GMT

The school screening of Aladdin ended up being hilarious, mostly due to Rawle's input and everyone's mindless defense of their childhood.

At home Patrick uncovered yet another bit of offensive Disney history:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-A2oaIzYkGk

(Start around 3:20)

Went down with some crust punk junk and woke up with a straight edge band

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:32:31 GMT

http://www.japanator.com/elephant/post.phtml?pk=9098

So this questionable beverage was advertised on my facebook recently, making me slightly curious as to what interests of mine are so well synchronized with a product that has the tagline "You gonna get GRAPED*!" I really should write more often, but I just don't feel neurotic enough to rant, and I'm too tired to try.

*http://www.tentaclegrape.com/about.php

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 06:52:56 GMT

So I'm working on a summer mix cd for everyone involved in my summer the track listing goes something like the one below but I plan on having a few additional tracks on everyones to prove that I view everyone as an individual... At a later date I will add an explanation and a hyperlink for each song, also if you feel left out I may be making one for you but haven't figured out a track listing yet...

1. Constructive Summer - The Hold Steady
2. Boys and Girls - The Death Set
3. Heart Throb or 88th Precinct - Team Robspierre
4. Yeah Yeah - Matt & Kim
5. North American Scum - LCD Soundsystem
6. Jogging Gorgeous Summer - Islands
7. Celebrate - Ghostface Killa
8. ? - Tilly and The Wall
9. Intermission - The Death Set
10. Underdog World Strike - Gogol Bordello
11. This Year - The Mountain Goats
12. Streams of Whiskey - The Pogues
13. Firefighter - Ghost Mice
14. St. Ides Heaven - Elliot Smith
15. The Swish - The Hold Steady
16. Bitches Leave - Be Your Own Pet

Jen Yogi
Academy - Mission of Burma

Bill
That's When I Reach For My Revolver - Mission of Burma

Greg
Going to Cleveland - The Mountain Goats
Body of an American - The Pogues

Kelly
There Will Always Be An Ireland - The Mountain Goats
* This song makes me think of you and Greg and yr travels to fabulous exotic places (including Ohio), since its a mildly romantic song I didn't want this to be misinterpreted
Killer Parties (Remix) - The Hold Steady

Miriam
Paint A Vulgar Picture - The Smiths
Take Me To The Hospital - The Faint

David Blair
No Children - The Mountain Goats
Girl in the Slayer Jacket - Pig Destroyer

Hadley
Fairytale of New York - The Pogues
We Call Upon the Author - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Patrick
I Don't Believe You - The Magnetic Fields
Crazed Couplet - Rudimentary Peni

KT
Oh The Casino - Fall Of Troy
Bicycle Your Are My Bicycle - Be Your Own Pet

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 15:40:20 GMT

I Am A: Chaotic Evil Human Bard (3rd Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-12

Dexterity-11

Constitution-15

Intelligence-17

Wisdom-12

Charisma-15

Alignment:
Chaotic Evil A chaotic evil character does whatever his greed, hatred, and lust for destruction drive him to do. He is hot-tempered, vicious, arbitrarily violent, and unpredictable. If he is simply out for whatever he can get, he is ruthless and brutal. If he is committed to the spread of evil and chaos, he is even worse. Thankfully, his plans are haphazard, and any groups he joins or forms are poorly organized. Typically, chaotic evil people can be made to work together only by force, and their leader lasts only as long as he can thwart attempts to topple or assassinate him. Chaotic evil is sometimes called demonic because demons are the epitome of chaotic evil. Chaotic evil is the best alignment you can be because combines self-interest and pure freedom. However, chaotic evil can be a dangerous alignment because it represents the destruction not only of beauty and life but also of the order on which beauty and life depend.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Bards often serve as negotiators, messengers, scouts, and spies. They love to accompany heroes (and villains) to witness heroic (or villainous) deeds firsthand, since a bard who can tell a story from personal experience earns renown among his fellows. A bard casts arcane spells without any advance preparation, much like a sorcerer. Bards also share some specialized skills with rogues, and their knowledge of item lore is nearly unmatched. A high Charisma score allows a bard to cast high-level spells.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Yeah this is the first survey i've taken in years...

Constructive Summer

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:41:52 GMT

So I broke with my normal behavior today and went over to mims house to watch Californication rather than sitting in my room fooling around with my cellphone and reading pdfs for the Warhammer Role Playing Game (because my light burned out and I am too lazy to replace it I have managed to dodge doing any work on my SMP for some time). On our way to blockbuster I felt like re-living my childhood and purchased some gatorade (because I wasn't allowed to have soda till I was like 14 because my parents were really really really conservative about what freedom I had). While driving around Silver Spring we played the new Hold Steady album, which is excellent, and discussed a Chuck Klosterman book which I haven't finished (Killing Yourself To Live, which I read the first 50 pages of once) and how something can be 85% of a true story.

Mimsy and I sat around her basement watching David Duchovney self destruct and wax about books named after Slayer songs and had a number of strange tangential conversations... also we have agreed to go see Batman, which I missed opening night because my debit card got shredded (long story) and I thought it was next week (because people dressed as Harley Quinn somehow don't ring alarm bells in my head that I'm missing something special... or I'm worn out by selling terrible books all day).

Recently we went out for a cigarette and contrary to my usual writing (writing about things months if not longer after they've happened) i determined that our weird little discussion was worth posting, so as well as I can remember it (85% true) here it is (in my snarky glory)

Me: Miriam I think you're retarded
Miriam: *Opens front door* CHIPMUNK
Me: ??? *spots chipmunk* Let miriam retard drool on you chipmunk! don't worry she won't pet you too hard she's not Lenny
Miriam: *emo fetal defensive position*
Me: its ok Miriam, your people will escape from their retard cages with their super strength
*blather*
Miriam: aww the chipmunk is adorable OH MY GOD WHY WOULD IT CLIMB UNDER MY CAR
Me: because its retarded... and fat...
Miriam: DON'T GIVE IT BODY IMAGE ISSUES... IT AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE
Me: not true!!! /emo /body image issues
*some tangential conversation*
Me: So basically you want to do David Duchovney
Miriam: I want to do him... and be him
Me: so basically you want to be David Duchovney masturbating? (New Being John Malcovitch type script unfolds in my head)
Miriam: if I were him I'd fuck the shit out of myself!
Me: I have to blog about this /eats pizza /blogs

Also Hold Steady show August 14th... WTF YES?!

In short I am narcissistic and probably pretty boring and this is the most I've written in forever...

~ RH

Massive Nights

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:42:22 GMT

I haven't written for quite some time (or fulfilled my earlier promise of writing about the end of the school year) and it isn't that I haven't tried, I keep starting to write about things but it just sounds cheap and trite and boring and like a horrible waste of metaphorical ink and I feel like this journal is just some sort of mindless self indulgence that I take to so I can feel like I've done something important (although I usually haven't).

The other night I saw the Hold Steady (Ybor City, up to my neck in sweat wet confetti, etc.) with Kelly, Mims, Jen Yogi, (all of whom blog and probably can write something much more articulate and engaging about the subject of Hold Steady shows or just shows in general or just anything)and some other people from school who I don't know particularly well. But anyway I digress, the night before the show Mims was amazingly sweet and brought me a cake at work(on which she wrote IF I WERE CHOCOLATE I WOULD FUCKING EAT MYSELF, which is a lovely reference to me being horribly egotistical and nerdy at a dinner I had with her and Jen Yogi) apparently bringing it to me at work was highly distressing because everyone in downtown silver spring (which was doing some cultural thing)wanted to read it and nice old ladies looked uncomfortable and mimsy felt awkward... in short social interactions of the highest order.

So the next day everyone at some point met up and started heading to pick up Bill and Clare before heading to Kelly's for the pre-show party of sorts she was putting together. Because of the spastic rainy weather however, and one wrong turn, we ended up getting to Kelly's with just enough time to have some quick drinks and then determined that we were going to go to Double T diner before we hit up the show since no one really cared about seeing the opening band (Birds of Avalon who were ok from the 20 or so mins of their show that we witnessed). In a pre-show note however, we had to go through a pariah entrance in the back of the Ram's Head because of all of the bars out front, despite it being less than a week till i was 21 and i wans't really in the mood to consume over-priced beer. However, at some point the Hold Steady took the stage and opened with "constructive summer" and just continued to rock i think the only songs they didn't play that i wanted to hear were "stevie nix" and "most people are dj's", the only thing i really feel the need to comment on is that they played "hot fries" which is a b-side and sounds like the way that i talk when I'm drunk, since there are lyrics mocking books and music everyone likes. While closing with Killer Parties, Craig Finn mentioned caring about the crowd which was pretty amazing, also my nose got cut open by another intense fan during "sequestered in Memphis" while we screamed the lyrics together and his baseball cap smashed into my nose.

After the show Jen, Mims, Kelly, and I spend the whole night drinking (well mims fell asleep at some point because she had a srs business field trip the next morning, which she headed out for with her teeth stained black from blackberry wine from some ren fest). It wasn't till around 8 am when the three of us that remained had resorted to shots of sour apple mad dog 20/20 since it was too disgusting to drink straight that i ended up intoxicated and decided to crash on the couch... all in all a massive night.

The next day i woke up at some point and Jen, Miriam and I picked up Bill and headed back to DC. Bill had pre-ordered tickets for Mission of Burma and Versus and we had to drop by my house first though otherwise we would have been horribly early (like 4 hours or so) and chatted a bit before taking the bus/metro combo to the Black Cat and picking up tickets. I find it really hard to write about the Mission of Burma show because they were awesome, but they are a band that i like a lot but know relatively little about suffice to say that they put on an amazing show and the lights on stage had to be cut to stop the calls for a 4th encore.

All and all... i had some massive nights

Let's Get Known (If We Try Real Hard We Can Buy Some Matching Clothes)

Fri, 23 May 2008 17:58:11 GMT

Last night I saw Islands, Magic, and Street Carnage with David Blair, Hadley, Bill, and Clare. The show was most excellent although we had to leave early. However, there were some interesting events leading up to the show. At about 3 I got a call from Mike F who wanted to drop by because his house was full of relatives. We ended up discussing nationalism and religion, I can't understand his viewpoint that nationalism is a good thing because it gives people pride in themselves. I might like who I am but it has nothing to do with being an American or my heritage, my family was shipped here for being criminals and I'm not descended from any groups that have a particular sense of national pride, however we are amazing at bloody, pointless, civil wars. Mike being Ethiopian, has something to be proud of: his people never were subjugated by a European power and drove out the Italians. Being part of a culture that never bowed down to outsiders is something that really could inspire pride.

While I was hanging out with Mike, Mims called and said she couldn't make the show because she had to prepare for her SMP, something I've been laying off, I've only read 40 or so pages of Being & Nothingness this summer. Because I was originally getting a ride to the metro from her I got a ride from Mike to the metro and dropped by my job to find out next week's schedule isn't up yet so I have no idea if I can do various things next week. Because this freed up a lot of time I figured I'd get to the show a bit early because I didn't pre-order a ticket. I especially wanted to get there a bit early because the Red line SUCKS really hard and transferring to the Green/Yellow line usually takes awhile (I remember waiting upwards of 45 minutes to get home just sitting at Fort Totten when I lived in College Park). There was a minor miracle and I managed to get to U-Street/Cardoza after maybe 30 minutes tops. This made me about an 2 hours before gates were supposed to open (8:00 pm), the club wasn't open and there was no line, I was literally alone standing in front of the Black Cat.

Because everyone I knew that was going to the show was still en route I wandered in a circle and read the Onion while sitting at various bus stops. About 45 minutes before the doors were supposed to open, there were two high school scenester chicks forming a line, so I decided to get spot 3 in the line for when everyone else arrived and sat against the wall chain smoking. As the line began to fill I started to feel really out of place (I can't stand scenesters even if I vaguely kind of am one). So I sent David frantic texts such as:

"I forgot how much I hate indie kids/white people in general" and "I'm the only white belt kid? I feel defensive & want to headbutt someone." Bill and Clare then showed up and we started talking about a BBQ for Bills birthday next week. Because the onion suggested it, I talked about how we could make a frozen vodka watermelon, only since there is no room in our freezer it would be a lukewarm vodka watermelon. Then David and Hadley showed up and we all kind of talked about nothing in particular and finally 45 minutes after the door was supposed to open we all bought or picked up our tickets and got our hands stamped.

Street Carnage was the first act, which is probably the best description for them because they didn't play music at all, the first part was the guy from Street Boners showing us photos of do's and don'ts and mocking people he took pictures of around NYC and it was pretty funny (this is already way to long, so I'm not going to quote any of his stuff). TV Carnage the other half of the act, was slightly less funny, but made a pretty entertaining rant about pot and how he cuts bad TV into these weird short clips. The website for Street Carnage is http://www.streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/ and it is pretty amusing.

The next band the Magic kind of sucked and we devoted their entire set to making fun of them. When they took/filled the stage we all kind of realized that this was going to be some sort of 80s revival thing, however this snatch of conversation kind of sums it up:

Me: They sound like you put the 80s in a blender and set it to "whip it"
David: or suck

The lead singer kind of looked like Ryan Hart from an alternate universe where he didn't love A&F and claiming that Bond is metro (total lie) but instead devoted himself to band uniforms and making music that sounds like some sort of condensed 80s, or one of those 80s cd collections that you see on TV where they pair Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" with Devo, "Karma Chameleon," and other totally unrelated artists that happen to have existed in the same decade. At best I could see ironically liking them because they just seem like an elaborate hipster joke, only everyone in the band was SUPER SRS about it. We took frequent smoke breaks and so here is a sort of "best of" our mocking their band*.

Clare: "The lead singers (outside of bizzaro Ryan Hart there was some chick who kind of sang and kind of did the most lackluster stage dancing ever) should go form a synth band and hang out in the corner where no one has to see them and the rest of them should go form a real band"

David: "They sound like Television meets the Partridge Family"
Bill: "RIP OFF MONSTER BALLADS DAMNIT!"
Me**: Is this when we Wang Chung? Guys how do I Wang Chung Tonight???

We then kind of all realized that it was almost 11pm and the metro closes at 11:52 from the station nearest to us, and since no one drove there we all had to leave pretty soon even thought Islands hadn't taken the stage yet (although Bill purchased a bitchin' Islands teeshirt). Thankfully a little after 11 they took the stage and were pretty much inscrutably awesome, they had all the best elements of the Unicorns (making me wish to dance around happily, bubble-gum guitar sounds, Diamonds singing) and of the Arcade Fire (longer songs, neat rhythm section, pace changes). I sort of danced around and was really happy, even if I was going to leave. Since this was an AWESOME band I can't really bring myself to criticize anything (which means I can't write as much) and I don't really know any Islands songs (so I can't say how well they performed any). But even if I only saw about 30 minutes of their set they were awesome and made me ridiculously bubbly and happy for the rest of the evening.

After the show we all met up at Tastee Diner in Silver Spring (and grabbed an unexpected Gregor on the way). Which was uneventful but nice, although I feel horrible that I accidentally kind of faux pased like no ones business by telling Mims how great the show was even though she wanted to go but couldn't and then felt pretty awful about myself for most of the time we were eating. Also I was too broke to pay her back for lunch when we visited KT (which I will probably post about later along with my epic long post that covers everything from Rolling to Senior Week/moving in to my current digs) because I had fallen in love with Islands and just "had" to purchase an Islands shirt because I'm a sucker for band merch.

~ RH

* I'm not sure if these quotes are word-for-word accurate, but they contain the general gist of everything, also none of these people read my journal so they can't call me out on any inaccuracies.

** Yes I am a narcissist but can you blame me?

Do You Wanna Know How A Resurrection Really Feels?

Sat, 10 May 2008 01:05:25 GMT

I cannot get an image out of my head. Well there are several I cannot get out of my head, but several are not for general discussion and the rest are unrelated. Specifically, I have my tattoo stuck in my head (this is the metaphysical tattoo that I have wanted for awhile). For those of you that read this/haven't seen it, the tattoo is taken from an encyclopedia of Russian criminal tattoos from the communist (mostly) era. The design is really simple, its a skull and crossbones without the lower jaw and carved in the skull is a question mark. Planted in the skull is a candle wrapped in barbed wire and under the skull is (in latin) FATE TOYS WITH MAN. The tattoo signifies dissatisfaction with ones life in the face of death. Somehow Russian criminals didn't believe that they had an identity without their tattoos, you are a non person until you become engrained in the social matrix of the tattooed world. While I am not, suprisingly, a Russian criminal I somehow feel like the mark would give me some sense of permanence outside of my scars.

Sometime before I forget about it (not that I can) I will write about my crazy religious experience from my exodus rolling from DPC to Calvert and about Mim's passover sader (sp).

Also these lyrics are permenently stuck in my head (while on the note of stuff stuck in my head):
some nites we just need to get touched and rub right up against something plush. some nites it's just a crush and some nites it's bloodlust. she said we might use you later on. meet me back here right around dawn.

you came into the ER drinking gin from a jam jar. and the nurses making jokes about the ER being like an after bar. you know you're weak and effite and i'm coming up from the streets. you're up in yr loft getting soft and i'm coming up the stairs and i'm coming from the streets. she said i love the guys you cant trust. meet me back here about dusk.
(The Hold Steady - Stevie Nix)

Also I'm seeing the Hold Steady which is amazing, completely amazing

Shut Up! I Have Never Been Murdered Again!

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 12:07:27 GMT

So I didn't sleep last night/this morning and in the course of doing my work stumbled onto a strange conclusion:
EARTH CRISIS is the Metalest band of all time.
This is no small claim, nor is it one that will be widely accepted (actually its borderline trolling). So those of you astute readers who actually read this are probably asking me "Who is Earth Crisis" and "Why is Richard Hell talking about some obscure band?"

Well you overly critical reader, Earth Crisis are a supremely angry vegan, straight-edge, hardcore punk band* from the early 90s. They actually existed until 2001 and reformed in 2007, but this is unimportant, no honestly, unimportant. Despite my uniform hatred of reunion tours and bands that were active during my lifetime. Earth Crisis was, for about 4 years (1991-1995), the hardest fucking band available and probably of all time.

First off, they were mad at EVERYTHING and not in the traditional metal sense (black metal is angry at christians, power metal is angry about a lack of dragons to battle, power metal is angry about the absence of aquanet in bulk purchase, etc.). Earth Crisis was seriously prepared to scream at the entire fucking world: they were pissed at machinery, they were pissed at people that ate meat, they were angry at people that took any drugs whatsoever, they were probably pissed at their parents, and considering how they were constantly pissed at everything they were probably pretty sick of being pissed. Not only did they have anger cranked up to 11, but they made you HONESTLY angry when they sang about stuff, even things that it is hypocritical for me (and probably you) to be angry about. And this anger is presented in a hard and heavy and fast manner, so when they say:

Street by street. Block by block. Taking it all back.
The youth's immersed in poison--turn the tide counterattack.
Violence against violence, let the roundups begin.
A firestorm to purify the bane that society drowns in.
No mercy, no exceptions, a declaration of total war.

There is one response:
1. you respond when they say "Street by street" by screaming "Block by block"
2. you will honestly believe that there should be "roundups" in response to drug use
3. additionally, you will feel that it is totally normal to say this and there is nothing scary about the phrase "no mercy, no exceptions, a declaration of total war"
4. you will rock the fuck out like you are having an epileptic fit while being tazered

And this is just the beginning to their FIRST song, and every fucking song they do is this intense and vehement (ed. until after "Destroy the Machines" when they became an inauthentic joke)about how fucked up the world is. Until they were exposed violating some of their principles backstage they honestly made you believe everything they said and that you had the ability to make a positive impact on the world. It may have broken my heart when some kid saw me with my copy of "Destroy the Machines" rocking out and told me they could betray the trust of their fans (most of which were extremely devoted). This is probably why I stopped being a straight-edge (the first time, not the time in college).

So I propose, given that Earth Crisis is officially the most metal band (with my definition of being angry music, made by people that are scary or try to be, that is fast and hard and LOUD) that we erase their history from 1995 onward (that would be after the release of "Destroy the Machines" and before the release of "Gommorah's Season Ends" even though GSE is actually a really solid album) and pretend that 4 years a band managed to not only live up to its name but to be fucking terrifying while doing it.

*edit: technically they are a "thrash metal band" according to Allmusic (a pseudo-reliable library of incredibly mixed reviews) although wikipedia calls them a hardcore punk band like me. Technically they're fairly hard to place, given that they are metal in terms of song construction only with a reliance on HxC style breakdowns, and their lyrics address environmental/social issues which is pretty un-metal (unless you are Cattle Decapitation, which is basically Earth Crisis 2.0 but they don't sound as urgent). Also, and this is completely unrelated, but proves I know too much about music, Cattle Decapitation despite the whole "vegan" thing are technically a gore/black metal side project of the Locust (making them a little less serious) that became a real band, and is due to name similarities confusable with Pig Destroyer. Thanks to this well intentioned parents may end up replacing your vegan-gore/black metal with nihilistic grindcore/noise. The crucial difference to remember is that when seeking a band with a name that consists of (animal) (nasty sounding verb) that Pig Destroyer is on Relapse and Cattle Decapitation is on 31G.
My rant aside, Earth Crisis is one of those bands who are hard to pin down because you can place them in two very diverse categories depending on taste, for example Black Flag is always cited as a punk band, but they consider themselves more like Black Sabbath than the punk music of the time (the Sex Pistols, the Ramones, the Clash, Myself and the Voidoids, etc. etc. etc.) but because they impacted the punk scene more than the metal scene they are usually considered a punk band.
-- Are you happy now Kat? (ed.)

P.S. Upcoming: I will review that damn brutal death metal cd the moment it gets here!

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 04:42:21 GMT

If anyone reading this (does anyone) hasn't purchased The Adolescents 1981 S/T CD/EP they seriously need to consider:

1. their friendship with me
2. their taste in music
3. why they haven't asked me for such a perfect cd

It is the thematic equivalent to a conversation with me snotty, arrogant, suburban punkishness combined with poorly developed ideas about anarchy and outright hostility towards most of the world... also they do one of the finest breakdowns in hardcore punk before breakdowns were as overplayed as soulja boy. I swear I will write an intelligent investigation of this vital cd at some point...

I Think I'll Just Stay Here And Drink

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 06:30:55 GMT

At the risk of seeming derivative, here are my thoughts on the Mountain Goats show.

The Mountain Goats have always been hard for me, not in the sense of comprehending the lyrics or taking a conscious effort to enjoy; but rather in the sense that I haven't ever been able to get a fix on John Darnielle. I allways had the feeling that he was laughing up his sleeve at me with these bitter, wonderful, cheerful songs that I could relate to so well. Ever since I first heard "No Children" when I was in 8th or 9th grade I haven't been able to stop listing, despite this.
Last night, after years of listening to him, I finally saw him live. When he took the stage and began to talk in his Mitch Heidberg like comedic delivery and to perform such passionate and sad songs I felt such a profound feeling of singularity. There was something that I could completely relate to, even while laughing to his introduction to "craters on the moon" when he described how you feel when people want your time and energy when you have none because "there is reality tv to watch and tang to eat... with a spoon" and how:

In that kind of mindset you even hate your friends when they come to visit you and act like a jerk. When they ask you for a glass of water you burst out, ‘No you can’t have any water! The water is reserved for Tang.’”

Something about the feelings of isolation and hopelessness yet boundless optimism that he describes in his songs. I felt so relieved I guess is the best word when he sang autoclave and described how:

I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
And no one in her right mind would make her home my home/ And no emotion that’s worth having could call my heart its home

I almost screamed at him "that's how I feel, how can you be so happy yet understand how it is???" These days I've been drifting and can barely feel the energy or compulsion to get out of bed except for to finish work or attend class and that is mostly out of obligation. Yet somehow through the songs John portrayed this amazing sense of urgent hope when he performed songs like "love love love," "wild sage," "this year" and "palmcorder yajna." I almost felt like I was glowing when the show ended, someone feels like me and can communicate it with a sense of hope, maybe there is hope for me.

Sorry this is an emo rant, and contains almost nothing about the show (which was amazing) but somehow I feel that this is the only honest way I could convey the show.

and some days I don't miss my family.
and some days I do.
and some days I think I'd feel better if I tried harder.
most days I know it's not true.

P.S. I'm going to make it through this year if it kills me

Lion's Teeth

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 00:33:23 GMT

I'm back from break and writing a review for a book that I am probably (actually definitely) not qualified to write about. The book is intended for graduate or post graduate students and addresses philosophers and philosophical topics that I am not really equipped to handle. Hence why I am ignoring my essay to write about my life.

The other day I was in New York City riding the metro and remembered how comforting the hum of the metro rail coming in was when I visited the city with my father when I was younger. I remember being terrified of all of the people and standing closer to him then I usually would and hearing the train coming and feeling the roar spread through my body and feeling like I could float away on the noise and out of the crowd. These days I usually consider throwing myself in front of metro trains when I reflect on my life and situation, and it was nice to feel nostalgia for when I was younger. I got the same feeling drinking on the East River later that night, while David played guitar and we sang the hits of the Mountain Goats and I remembered doing the same thing every night my sophomore year.

Speaking of the Mountain Goats I am going to see them this weekend, tres exciting. And on another John Darnielle note, I purchased a CD entitled "Dispatches from the Southern Paradise: a Compilation of Brutal Colombian Death Metal" and it will be reviewed shortly (i.e. whenever David returns it) in contrast to Pig Destroyer's "Phantom Limb."

Stay tuned for a list of reasons to freeze to death and the review.

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 07:55:24 GMT

I promised that I'd sleep, but I can't seem to... so what the hell.
I don't think I ever let myself be happy, and whenever everyone thinks I am it's when I'm at my most miserable. Kierkegaard (because I'm a pretentious bastard and can spell his name correctly, if nothing else) said on his death-bed that he lived a life of private and unbearable pain which others knew nothing of. I think all of my friends know how I am and how I feel, but I still can't help relating to that quote.
Maybe it's why I engage in acts of such fucked-off nihilism that everyone construes as me wanting attention.
I sound like an emo.
It's pathetic.
No one reads this anyway (emo).

A Farewell To A Perfect Score

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 21:05:14 GMT

I haven't written in this thing since I activated it, and since I really have become a Pariah (as expected) I figure this should be where I write all of my stupid little thoughts. I still feel burned from all the drama in my life, but as a "bonus" since I have very few people that I am responsible for these days I have more time to do my work. Of course this would require me to do my actual work, rather than re-activate my guildwars account and start farming again.
I honestly don't know how I changed from freshman year so much that I'm now a TA (in my 5th major). Not that I am particularly good at the job, I really do see people as the repulsive little gremlins they really are. Since I lack a fundemental respect for most people its hard for me to motivate myself to contribute to classes I've allready taken, but as some people put some measure of trust in me I'm slogging through the job. I still can't figure out if this is the semester I'll fail out or the semester I'll somehow make myself a serious student.
I miss simplicity.

Woes of the Working Class vol. 1

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 18:52:32 GMT

I received my first customer compliment for actually doing my job yesterday. This is several months into assuming my position as a corporate book seller, and a week after receiving training to do the information services job I have done the last month and a half. This follows a string of complaints about my lacking professionalism from a variety of customers, and the few customers that have found me entertaining but cannot fathom how I keep my job. Honestly, I miss days when customers would ignore my pleas to help them find books entirely. I spent the rest of the day in numb shock (partially from the compliment, partially from brain deadening work, and partially from a Resident Evil 4 marathon before going to work).

After work I went to Miriam's, and she watched Carrie while I read somethingawful.com because I watched it the night before, which upset her because we were supposed to watch it together (I can't remember this agreement but don't remember much of anything). I also moved the first of my things into her house (some minor electronics), and slept in her sisters room for the first time (which is where I will apparently be rooming). Either its my insane paranoia about intrusion or her sister performed some voodoo on the bed because I spent all night having fever dreams.

I really cannot comprehend how I will ever write a successful journal (is there such a thing).

TV Eye

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:31:55 GMT

I am 20. This is a startling revelation for me, because I spent most of my life waiting for a particular date (July 2nd, 2005) when I would turn 18 and haven't really had a date to look forward to since. I lack direction and wants, so I feel like I'm drifting most of the time. My drifting has recently lead to my employ at a corporate bookstore (I'm allowed to blog about it, but I'd rather not mention my employer). I entered the job with the misguided belief that I could address my interests in writing and literature with intelligent customers (translation: I am quite possibly an idiot). Instead, I spend most of my day locating Oprah's latest book pick for people, reshelving manga, idly looking forward to smoke breaks, and occasionally realizing that no one really monitors my productivity and getting coffee and sipping it while being paid to click about our book search without any real customer input.
The release of the new Harry Potter book hasn't helped the with the lacking charm of this job. I fielded approximately 120 renditions of the "I didn't reserve a copy, can I still get one opening night" question a day for the week leading up to its release. On the night of the release I was so bored and tired with answering protocol questions for the release that I happily gave my # to a complete stranger (whom has called me about 4 times since, and I've never been responsive to because I don't know them). There is something very disenchanting about the nature of my work, all of my co-workers are depressed, crazy, or zealots about the job to cope with the mundane nature of our work. At a bare minimum everyone scarred by the experience ends up amazingly cynical about not only their future but our collective future as consumers of literature.

I'm honestly not sure if there is any point to this rambling, but I figure that puts me on par with everyone else blogging.